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EnigmA Amiga Run 1995 November
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EnigmA AMIGA RUN 02 (1995)(G.R. Edizioni)(IT)[!][issue 1995-11][Skylink CD].iso
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mb_oct95.lha
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MB_37.txt
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1995-09-30
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4KB
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138 lines
You can not be serious?
=======================
By Micheal Brown
These are genuine extracts from motor accident claim forms received by a
large insurance office in London.
1.. The accident was due to the other man narrowly missing me.
2.. Lorry halted and worked for the Corporation.
3.. I collided with a stationary tramcar coming in the opposite
direction.
4.. The occupants were stalking dear on the hillside.
5.. I left my Austin 7 outside, but when I came out later , to my
amazement, there was an Austin 12.
6.. To avoid collision I ran into the other car.
7.. There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.
8.. The water in my radiator accidentally froze at 12 midnight.
9.. Car had to turn sharper than was necessary owing to an invisible
lorry.
10. I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident happened.
11. After the accident a working gentleman offered to be a witness in my
favour.
12. I collided with a stationary tree.
13. There was no damage done to the car as the gatepost will testify.
14. Accident was due to the road bending.
15. The witness gave his occupation as a gentleman, but it would be more
correct to call him a garage proprietor.
16. The other man altered his mind and I had to run into him.
17. Ice on the road applied brakes causing skid.
18. I told the idiot what he was and went on.
19. One wheel went into the ditch. My foot jumped from the brake to
accelerator pedal, leapt across the road to the other side and jumped
into the trunk of a tree.
20. I remember nothing after passing the Crown Hotel until I came to and
saw PC Brown.
21. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he
gored my car.
22. A cow wandered into my car, I was afterwards informed that the cow
was half-witted.
23. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.
24. I was taking a friend home and keeping two yards from each lamp post
which were in a straight line. Unfortunately there was a bend in the
road bringing the right hand lamp post in line with the other and of
course I landed in the ditch.
25. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself, it would
not have happened.
26. I bumped into a shop window and sustained injuries to my wife.
27. I bumped into a lamp post which was obscured by human beings.
28. I heard a horn blow and was struck violently in the back. Evidently
a lady was trying to pass me.
29. I misjudged a lady crossing the street.
30. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
haven't got.
31. Three women were all talking to each other, and when she stepped
back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.
32. I can't give details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at
the time.
33. Wilful damage to the upholstery was done by rats.
34. A pedestrian hit and went underneath my car.
35. I blew my horn but it would not work as it was stolen.
36. A lamp post bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.
37. My car was stolen and I set up a human cry, but it has not been
recovered.
38. The car in front stopped suddenly and I crashed gently into its
luggage grid.
39. I left my car unattended for a minute, and whether by accident or
design it ran away.
40. The other car collided with me, without giving warning of his
intention.
41. I unfortunately ran over the pedestrian and the old gentleman was
taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.
42. On entering Wales I blew my horn at the left hand corner.
43. I thought the side window was down but it was up as I found out when
I put my head through it.
44. I considered neither vehicle was to blame, but if either was to
blame it was the other one.
45. I was proceeding along the road at a moderate speed when another car
rushed out of a side turning and turned upside down in a ditch.
It was his fault as he said.
46. I knocked over the man, he admitted it was his fault, as he had been
knocked down before.
47. I looked for the sign but the more I looked the more I couldn't find
it.
END
===